But for now let me help you with the SMART goal setting process.
SMART stands for – Specific / Measurable / Achievable /Relevant/ Time related.
For example you may set long-term outcome goals such as getting a ‘dream body’ or to be happier and, as a starting point, these sound like good goals.
The problem is that the goal-setting process for many people stops there.
People who develop action plans experience LESS ANXIETY, MORE CONFIDENCE and GREATER SATISFACTION about achieving their goals and are more likely to SUCCEED.
Let’s take weight loss as an example. Saying I want to lose weight is a noble statement however by saying,” I want to lose 20lbs or 10 kg is more SPECIFIC.
Then by adding, “…before my summer holidays” gives a chance to MEASURE the weight drop in stages.
Next you have to ask yourself, “is it ACHIEVABLE”. How are you going to achieve this goal- coaching, diet, exercise, hypnosis?
You need a balance of- challenging enough to keep you motivated, but not too hard as you might lose focus and experience feelings of anxiety and stress.
(I use a specific analysis technique for weight management which I can gladly go through with you).
The RELEVANT stage is very important as this is where you need to ask yourself, “Does this goal really matter to me?” The answer better be “YES”, but if there is no real internal motivation and desire to achieve it, you’ll probably fail.
Finally setting a TIMELINE for when you want to achieve your goal is important.
This is the part where you need to make use of setting goals that are both long and short term; our main goal may be 6-8 months away but by setting short term goals you will always have an upcoming goal to work towards.
Hopefully this has been helpful to you about both the importance of wanting to achieve your goal and how to go about it. Sure I am always available to help you start, maintain and achieve the goals you deserve.
With the easing of restrictions and suggestions that we are closing in on the final chapters of the pandemic, there are numerous reasons to feel optimistic that we may soon return to a ‘normal life ’.
Just imagine no face masks, no Covid tests and no more social distancing, sounds good , right?
Taking off a Face mask
However it’s understandable to feel nervous and anxious about this new transitional stage and the changes associated with it. Trust me you are not alone if you feel this way.
Our minds and bodies have been on “Red Alert” for a long time now about protecting our health and any sudden changes to our behaviour may cause fear and confusion and an increased risk of social anxiety.
We may feel that we are under scrutiny and overthink our interactions with others around us leading to even more anxious feelings.
Here are my 5 top tips for coping with the easing of restrictions:
1.Drop feeling guilty
It’s okay to feel anxious and by acknowledging and accepting this it will free up your feelings instead of bottling them up. Changes are going to happen and you don’t have to be ecstatic about it. Chat to friends and colleagues you may be surprised to find you are not alone feeling the way you do.
2. Pace yourself
It’s going to be strange for all of us for a while as we meditate our way from where we were to where we are going. Others might be happy to jump right back into work, pubs and clubs whereas others might not be too keen.
What is important is that you increase exposure at your own pace and find what is comfortable for you, such as , continuing to wear a mask for a while. Furthermore be honest and open about how you feel in a non judgmental way. It’s not about being right or wrong, it’s just the way you feel.
3.Dealing with peer pressure
It can be difficult to hold your position when others around you are doing something different and you are getting pressurised into conforming. However a good way to deal with this is to explain how you feel and that you appreciate the way they feel and all you are asking for is reciprocation. Just be like one of the dragons on “Dragons Den”, when they don’t like the deal on offer they say, “I’m Out”.
4.Be present focused
Our bodies are always present however our minds can be in the past, present or future.
Using mindfulness techniques such as, 54321, can really focus our minds on the here and now. This can be easier said than done so practice is key , the more you practice being present the easier it will become.
54321 mindfulness
5. Recognise your achievements
The last two years have brought on many changes, requiring adaptive behaviour at every turn. Just take time out to reflect on how you have managed this by being flexible in your work, family and social life. Nothing worthwhile is easy and by recognising you have come this far, all you need to do is trust yourself to keep going and be open about getting professional help to see you through to the finish line.
Dickens was of course a great story teller and he drew from his life experiences, everything that went on around him. But he was also a social reformer, challenging the authorities to review and change the circumstances of the poor and working classes.
He lived in a time of great industrial and social upheaval, the heady days of Victorian Britain, a place of both wealth and poverty
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”
Therefore he not only put his thoughts down in words, he also took action with a sense of purpose. We can all do this, don’t doubt yourself, you like me can help another person.
So don’t wait for the best of times to get started , lighten the burden today.
Dickens was of course a great story teller and he drew from his life experiences, everything that went on around him. But he was also a social reformer, challenging the authorities to review and change the circumstances of the poor and working classes.
He lived in a time of great industrial and social upheaval, the heady days of Victorian Britain, a place of both wealth and poverty
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”
Therefore he not only put his thoughts down in words, he also took action with a sense of purpose. We can all do this, don’t doubt yourself, you like me can help another person.
So don’t wait for the best of times to get started , lighten the burden today.
A little gift from a former client which was very nice of them. It came with a little note stating that I had helped her stay afloat.
I think it’s not always clear cut on how we need to approach problems and indeed solutions as there may be a third way which is available if only we take the time to appreciate it.
She didn’t want to give up by sinking nor swim away but just staying afloat was enough to keep her head in the right place.
The note concluded with , “It’s been a pleasure”. My sentiments exactly.
Remember we all must die. I’m in my 50s and here I am just listening to some old records(vinyl to those too young to know what a record is) after talking to old friends in the modern communication via Zoom. We are middle aged and beyond, yet I don’t see who we are now but the children we were. To close my eyes, just to listen and it takes me back. Not men, not fathers, not husbands, but just us.
As a student of the social sciences many years ago I discarded the views of ageing as it was put to me then. For youth would of course never die, or at least , have an appreciation of an end. But then those held dear, close, go, gone. It hurts. Perhaps only for a short time and we move on. Youth remains strong. But not forever.
We never can be sure when it happens, when the first cut of age takes it’s quota- a wrinkle, an ache, thoughts of the past more prominent than the future, who can be sure other than to know it just happened beyond our control. Then what?
Do we continue down the path we’ll worn by those who came before us or challenge ourselves to greater glories or wait, just wait for something, anything to change our course?
I come across far too many people who dream and hope that things will improve but like the ancient Romans are willing to leave their fates to the Gods of fortune( Fortuna spinning her wheel of fortune).
This alarms me as I see an abundance of talent and potential just dreaming or wasting their lives away not realising everyone including you has something to offer through being alive.
Sure if you’re content with your life and don’t feel the need to do anything differently, then that’s fine, it’s your choice. You probably don’t need to continue reading but for those who don’t feel that way then please stay with me.
In the long run we are all dead.
John Maynard Keynes
I’m not going to preach, that’s not what’s this is about. I just want you to understand, no mortal being lives forever, not you, not me , not the generations past or indeed yet to come.
We all have to start somewhere, no matter your current age or circumstances, if you want to change where you are then do it and do it now.
Remember:
Dreams and hopes don’t come true without action
Waiting doesn’t change anything or get things done
Memento Mori (we all must die) make it a life worth living
Anxiety Clinic Dublin 