This is my right hand (Righty) , it’s not quite redundant, but it’s very clean. Very Very clean, so is it’s partner Lefty. Righty likes to be busy, but doesn’t work as hard as Lefty, who is the dominant one.
At the moment both are not as busy as they should be, Righty can live with this , but Lefty can’t, so he took this photo of Righty, to keep himself busy, he is typing these words also.
Our hands are important, however when they have too much time they can get mischievous, “Devil and idle hands and all that”, never a good combination.
So to occupy Lefty and Righty, they have been set tasks:
chopping, stirring, flipping and cutting in the kitchen, Righty’s fingers have a few nicks, naughty Lefty.
filling the washing machine, hanging out clothes, ironing clothes
stretching, pulling and lifting to help the middle aged body move
massage the aching body
hold and flick the pages of a new book
holding a biscuit and dunking in a nice cup of tea
Who knows they might even teach each other a few tricks so Righty can take more of the leading role and Lefty can take a more supporting role.
Both are looking to the future when the invaders have gone so they can get back to doing the work they love, being helping hands to those in need.
One thing is for sure they will not be redundant and will be very very clean.
”You’re far too close, stand back from each other, six feet people , two metres. I’m being serious, this is serious, very serious.”
It’s the reception area in a part of a Dublin hospital, small groups of health care staff are busy doing their jobs as they would every day, but the words stop people in their tracks. The words hit home, the mood changes, anxiety rises, just in case we weren’t aware- social distancing is a new reality.
The consultant doctor, whose words are above, is a respected, calm, erudite senior member of this team. He doesn’t scare easily, this is not his first rodeo, so just in case anyone was in any doubt, the corona virus Covid-19 , is not to be discarded as a bad cold or flu, his team is down 50% and the surge hasn’t arrived in Ireland yet. If they are anxious about social distancing then we all should be mindful of social distancing.
The words resonate with my experience , I travel to the hospital by public transport, the bus is usually packed, standing room only. But not at the moment, 100,000’s have been laid off work or working from home, caring for children who’s schools or crèches are closed. The bus is sparsely filled people observing seat distancing, trying not to get too close. It’s eerily quiet, the usual multilingual chattering has gone, transferred to internet chat rooms.
But not everyone has switched onto the need for social distancing, a young man sat behind me on the bus the other morning, more concerned with his mobile phone than being aware of the seat distancing all us other commuters were observing, not through any conscious pact on our parts or bus company policy , moreover just through common sensibilities about the current situation we all find ourselves in.
I chose to get up and get off the bus, I had a few choice words with the youngster, he didn’t care, I cannot be responsible for other people’s thoughts and actions, only my own.
Walking around the city brings it’s own anxiety, I see too many people grouped together, sitting far too close (6 feet guys, 2 metres please), walking two or three abreast. This raises my own anxieties, I have to cross over roads to avoid groups, stopping in doorways, turning my back to allow others to pass by. As an anxiety management therapist I know the damaging effects of constant anxiety- https://anxietyclinicdublin.com/anxiety-test-results/
I’m fortunate enough to be able to regulate my own anxieties, but just like the corona virus Covid-19 , I don’t have immunity from them, but I have solutions such as conscious breathing and mindfulness. Likewise we have solutions to contain the corona virus Covid-1, hand and general hygiene, avoid unnecessary contact and SOCIAL DISTANCING.
I’m now doing more work over the internet via Zoom and VSee, it’s not quite like the real one to one or group settings I prefer but it’s our current reality. A reality that might change the way we think about how we work and live and what type of societies we want both locally and globally. But that’s for another post.
So let’s be conscious of our actions and the impact they have on others, we can all ease our anxiety by slowing down and listen to sensible advice. I know I have: “…I’m being serious, this is serious, very serious.”
22 per cent of adolescents surveyed reported severe anxiety. File photograph: Getty Images/iStockphoto
Rates of anxiety and depression are on the rise among young people, according to the largest ever study of mental health among Irish teenagers and young adults.
The research, which captures the views of more than 19,000 young people aged between 12 and 25 years, also finds that teenagers who spend three hours or more online daily are more likely to be miss out on sleep and have higher rates of anxiety and depression.
The study was carried out by the UCD school of psychology and funded by Jigsaw, the national youth mental health service, and follows up on a similar study carried out in 2012.
It finds that since the last study the proportion of adolescents (12-18s ) reporting severe anxiety has doubled to 22 per cent, while levels of severe anxiety in young adults (18-25s ) have increased from 15 per cent to 26 per cent.
Levels of self-harm are significant across the adolescent and young adult age groups, with two in every five young adults having self-harmed.
On a positive note, numbers of young people drinking alcohol, being bullied in school and stressing about finances have dropped.
The study found there has been a drop in levels of self-esteem, optimism and life satisfaction, but the number of those getting help from supportive adults in their lives has increased.
While the amount of time spent online is a concern for some young people, the research also notes that young people are predominantly using social media to enhance and continue friendships and relationships that they have made offline.
You may have heard this story before but indulge me as it’s important and relevant to all our lives. I have a copy of this on my office wall. Only through our own actions will we change our lives:
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.
What’s the most common route to dealing with your anxiety?
GP?
Medication?
Counselling?
CBT?
Sometimes these interventions work which is great as you will not need to wait to see me however more often and not these don’t work. I know this as this is the route many people take before contacting me.
But that’s okay as you are now taking action and just because these interventions didn’t work this has nothing to do with my therapy.
Ask yourself this this question. How is my anxiety going to go away?
Seriously ask yourself, do you expect the things that didn’t work before to somehow work now?
Really focus on this as you now have a choice:
A: Continue doing what you are doing and hope for the best
OR
B: Contact me
We all need a plan B so if you have anxiety
contact me and I’ll show you how to retrain your mind so that can take control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
However only contact me if you really want to smash your anxiety and live the life you deserve.
One of the most common signs of anxiety is self consciousness. It’s not unusual for people to think that others are talking about them or feel negatively towards them.This “what will people think” mindset causes much anxiety.
Am I self conscious?
This can Result in paranoia and is almost certainly only “in the mind” of the person who experiences it. The idea that they are in the forefront of someone else’s mind is simply not true. In the same way we are in our own little bubble thinking about ourselves, they are doing the same. We are not in other people’s thinking as much as we like to think.
When you are anxious you look for clues to validate your belief that people are secretly talking about you behind your back or thinking bad about you. You become a “mind reader” where you actually think you know what other people are thinking about you. In reality people aren’t walking around thinking about you.
Tips on how to stop feeling self conscious
It’s funny when you mind read though, you never think that they think anything nice about you! It’s always negative. Yet if you really could read minds you would be rich, you’d be on TV you’d be a celebrity. Are you any of these things? No. So you can’t read minds so it’s just paranoid thinking then.
So whenever you try to “read people’s minds” there’s usually only 1 outcome. You will think something negative. It’s rare you will ever think “they think I’m great”. Let’s face it not everyone will like us in life. Do you like everyone you meet? No. If people like us that’s great if they don’t well that’s their loss.This is key to how to stop feeling self conscious.
Please absorb this!
You weren’t put here to please people, if they don’t like your personality it’s fine. You don’t like everyone’s personality either. It works both ways. Some people will like you some won’t. It’s the way it’s always been. So when you accept this it creates peace. It gives you closure. You stop bending your personality to try to please people. They aren’t bending to please you. All you do is lose yourself when you try to please everyone.
It’s time to take back control of your thoughts and feelings.
If you need one to one help to combat the above you can call me on:
Anxiety Clinic Dublin 