As I write this I know I am physically present, typing away, my focus on the next word to magic itself onto the page and if my mind wanders, as it is free to do, I know that’s okay. I say that to myself and bring my thoughts back to the present by consciously focusing on my breath and squeezing my thumb and index finger together committing my mind to the conscious physical present.
Sure I know my thoughts mean me well, remnants of past failures and glories but I also know that: No cognitive thought-No emotional feeling- No physical behaviour can undo the outcome of a past event.
Also our future dreams and wishes are but that- dreams and wishes. Sure we need to plan for our future, I agree that is a good thing, but we plan in the present, setting goals that our present thoughts, feelings and behaviours can work together to make them become a reality.
Remember that regrets and guilt of the past and fear of the future only rob us of the present moment, which is the only time where we can truly influence and change ourselves and the environment around us.
So let us all stay present understanding our history and looking forward to our future.
Feel free to contact me for any further information.
Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers, BBC Television. (John Cleese)
Our lives might not seem to be moving quickly at the moment but they are moving at the same pace as yesterday, the days before that and the days to come.
The virus has however changed all our lives. Time has remained the constant that it always was but how we use this time as changed.
Before we probably didn’t think we had enough of it but now that has altered and we are not too sure how to deal with it.
Most of us like to have a degree of certainty in our lives and a sense of control over our choices and actions. This is being challenged as we are being forced into actions and behaviours that are not ours.
Therefore if we do not feel we own these choices, then our actions and behaviours are in conflict and that leads to confusion, disillusionment and anger.
Now most of us can put up with this sort of thing for a short while but when it drags on, with no real end in sight the pressure can begin to mount and with any excess pressure something has to give.
So what can we do?
1. Acceptance.
Ouch, really, we have had enough and you are saying just accept the situation we are in? Well yes I am, if we can accept the situation then we will not be fighting it anymore. Stressing ourselves out over something we cannot fix is no cure. By accepting where we are will allow us to see things in a different way.
2. Changing our perspective.
Now that we are no longer fighting the situation we can use the time, remember it is the same amount of time we always had, to review what is important in our lives and really see how we can get more of these things and ditch the ones that were really just filling space in our lives but not really adding any value to it. WARNING!!! This might be something that you have been putting off for years as you know the answers and they might not be palatable but now is the opportunity to clear the decks.
• Work : do really miss it, other than the paycheck? Is there something that you always wanted to do that you now have the time to tackle? Are you a music genius, a writer perhaps, an artist? No matter what now is the time to express yourself.
• Health: can you take the time now to review your health, stop smoking perhaps, cut down on alcohol, try a vegetarian diet, exercise more – become a yoga master twisting your limbs into pretzel shapes in no time! (remember to check with your physician before radically changing your diet and exercise regime)
• Wealth: How much is enough? How can you get by with what you have, review where your money has been going, can this now be trimmed and even can you do without things that never have been essential anyway.
• Relationships: This is a real challenge as in times like these, our relationships are under pressure but we need to know if we can get through this then we can get through anything. However it might be time to review those who have not been helpful and have been more of a drain on your energies and take the opportunity to say “sayonara”.
3. Comparison trap.
Stop comparing yourself to others, there will always be someone who is more attractive, wealthier, has a bigger car, has a bigger house, has something you don’t have. But do you really need what they have? Is it that important? Is it okay to just have what you have, now is a great opportunity to review this.
4. Future planning.
This situation will not last forever. It will end. Take this chance to see how you are going to live your life in the future. Do you want to go back to the way it was, but this is unlikely as social distancing and various health protocols might be around for some time to come. So now is the chance to plan a different life, taking everything above into consideration, now you can really plan for a life that is less stressful, less chaotic and just better as you have taken the time to plan your life.
Remember you only get one life, but rarely do you get the chance to review and reset it to the way it should have been in the first place. Now might be that opportunity. Seize the opportunity as this is something you can still control.
22 per cent of adolescents surveyed reported severe anxiety. File photograph: Getty Images/iStockphoto
Rates of anxiety and depression are on the rise among young people, according to the largest ever study of mental health among Irish teenagers and young adults.
The research, which captures the views of more than 19,000 young people aged between 12 and 25 years, also finds that teenagers who spend three hours or more online daily are more likely to be miss out on sleep and have higher rates of anxiety and depression.
The study was carried out by the UCD school of psychology and funded by Jigsaw, the national youth mental health service, and follows up on a similar study carried out in 2012.
It finds that since the last study the proportion of adolescents (12-18s ) reporting severe anxiety has doubled to 22 per cent, while levels of severe anxiety in young adults (18-25s ) have increased from 15 per cent to 26 per cent.
Levels of self-harm are significant across the adolescent and young adult age groups, with two in every five young adults having self-harmed.
On a positive note, numbers of young people drinking alcohol, being bullied in school and stressing about finances have dropped.
The study found there has been a drop in levels of self-esteem, optimism and life satisfaction, but the number of those getting help from supportive adults in their lives has increased.
While the amount of time spent online is a concern for some young people, the research also notes that young people are predominantly using social media to enhance and continue friendships and relationships that they have made offline.
You may have heard this story before but indulge me as it’s important and relevant to all our lives. I have a copy of this on my office wall. Only through our own actions will we change our lives:
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.
What’s the most common route to dealing with your anxiety?
GP?
Medication?
Counselling?
CBT?
Sometimes these interventions work which is great as you will not need to wait to see me however more often and not these don’t work. I know this as this is the route many people take before contacting me.
But that’s okay as you are now taking action and just because these interventions didn’t work this has nothing to do with my therapy.
Ask yourself this this question. How is my anxiety going to go away?
Seriously ask yourself, do you expect the things that didn’t work before to somehow work now?
Really focus on this as you now have a choice:
A: Continue doing what you are doing and hope for the best
OR
B: Contact me
We all need a plan B so if you have anxiety
contact me and I’ll show you how to retrain your mind so that can take control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
However only contact me if you really want to smash your anxiety and live the life you deserve.
Anxiety Clinic Dublin 