This is a fair assessment, as a medium video conferencing has its place in the world. However its use has gone beyond its original scope. Put it this way it’s like a sofa bed , which was good to be used on occasions but now has to masquerade as a queen sized four poster with an ergonomic designed mattress.
I read this morning that more people have now been vaccinated compared to those who have COVID-19. This is great news. I know I’m one of those lucky people.
Necessity is of course the mother of all invention and with the continual roll out of the various vaccines that are available, or soon to be available, will tip the scales even further in our favour.
Or at least we hope so. For nothing can be certain with this virus as it mutates to survive. But science has shown it can get ahead of the curve, we just need our politicians and world citizens to acknowledge and accept that it is in all our (sanitised) hands to keep the scales in our favour.
I have dealt with unprecedented levels of anxiety throughout the last year and this gives me more than hope and positivity that things are going in the right direction. The numbers are an indication that we can manage this current situation , right here, right now, day by day, step by step. If we can keep going , collectively, we can all look forward to a better future.
Stay safe. Following the COVID-19 protocols for your place in the world. Remember the scales are now tipping in our favour.
Remember we all must die. I’m in my 50s and here I am just listening to some old records(vinyl to those too young to know what a record is) after talking to old friends in the modern communication via Zoom. We are middle aged and beyond, yet I don’t see who we are now but the children we were. To close my eyes, just to listen and it takes me back. Not men, not fathers, not husbands, but just us.
As a student of the social sciences many years ago I discarded the views of ageing as it was put to me then. For youth would of course never die, or at least , have an appreciation of an end. But then those held dear, close, go, gone. It hurts. Perhaps only for a short time and we move on. Youth remains strong. But not forever.
We never can be sure when it happens, when the first cut of age takes it’s quota- a wrinkle, an ache, thoughts of the past more prominent than the future, who can be sure other than to know it just happened beyond our control. Then what?
Do we continue down the path we’ll worn by those who came before us or challenge ourselves to greater glories or wait, just wait for something, anything to change our course?
I come across far too many people who dream and hope that things will improve but like the ancient Romans are willing to leave their fates to the Gods of fortune( Fortuna spinning her wheel of fortune).
This alarms me as I see an abundance of talent and potential just dreaming or wasting their lives away not realising everyone including you has something to offer through being alive.
Sure if you’re content with your life and don’t feel the need to do anything differently, then that’s fine, it’s your choice. You probably don’t need to continue reading but for those who don’t feel that way then please stay with me.
In the long run we are all dead.
John Maynard Keynes
I’m not going to preach, that’s not what’s this is about. I just want you to understand, no mortal being lives forever, not you, not me , not the generations past or indeed yet to come.
We all have to start somewhere, no matter your current age or circumstances, if you want to change where you are then do it and do it now.
Remember:
Dreams and hopes don’t come true without action
Waiting doesn’t change anything or get things done
Memento Mori (we all must die) make it a life worth living
Paradoxically both positions can be seen as correct. However it is not that your anxiety defines you, it is your belief that it defines you is the correct position.
Of course anxiety can have an overwhelming command over how you live your life, but it can only do so with your permission.
For anxiety is the sum of all the negative self beliefs and negative thoughts constantly repeated into forming a self deprecating cycle which like a hamster running on it’s wheel, you never seem to be able to get anywhere.
But remember anxiety is there to protect you from harm, it’s your biological defence mechanism, to initiate the “fight or flight” response to keep you safe.
Although when you are constantly running on the wheel to nowhere, it’s then your health deteriorates, your body gets tired and your decision making becomes obstructed by the constant barrage of competing thoughts and feelings.
So what can you do?
1. Start by recognising that it’s yourbeliefs that define your anxiety not the anxiety itself.
2. Get a medical check up to ensure that there are no other underlying physical ailments
3. Get a therapist that specialises in dealing with anxiety
Remember no matter whether you believe you can or can’t – you are right.
As I write this I know I am physically present, typing away, my focus on the next word to magic itself onto the page and if my mind wanders, as it is free to do, I know that’s okay. I say that to myself and bring my thoughts back to the present by consciously focusing on my breath and squeezing my thumb and index finger together committing my mind to the conscious physical present.
Sure I know my thoughts mean me well, remnants of past failures and glories but I also know that: No cognitive thought-No emotional feeling- No physical behaviour can undo the outcome of a past event.
Also our future dreams and wishes are but that- dreams and wishes. Sure we need to plan for our future, I agree that is a good thing, but we plan in the present, setting goals that our present thoughts, feelings and behaviours can work together to make them become a reality.
Remember that regrets and guilt of the past and fear of the future only rob us of the present moment, which is the only time where we can truly influence and change ourselves and the environment around us.
So let us all stay present understanding our history and looking forward to our future.
Feel free to contact me for any further information.
Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers, BBC Television. (John Cleese)
Our lives might not seem to be moving quickly at the moment but they are moving at the same pace as yesterday, the days before that and the days to come.
The virus has however changed all our lives. Time has remained the constant that it always was but how we use this time as changed.
Before we probably didn’t think we had enough of it but now that has altered and we are not too sure how to deal with it.
Most of us like to have a degree of certainty in our lives and a sense of control over our choices and actions. This is being challenged as we are being forced into actions and behaviours that are not ours.
Therefore if we do not feel we own these choices, then our actions and behaviours are in conflict and that leads to confusion, disillusionment and anger.
Now most of us can put up with this sort of thing for a short while but when it drags on, with no real end in sight the pressure can begin to mount and with any excess pressure something has to give.
So what can we do?
1. Acceptance.
Ouch, really, we have had enough and you are saying just accept the situation we are in? Well yes I am, if we can accept the situation then we will not be fighting it anymore. Stressing ourselves out over something we cannot fix is no cure. By accepting where we are will allow us to see things in a different way.
2. Changing our perspective.
Now that we are no longer fighting the situation we can use the time, remember it is the same amount of time we always had, to review what is important in our lives and really see how we can get more of these things and ditch the ones that were really just filling space in our lives but not really adding any value to it. WARNING!!! This might be something that you have been putting off for years as you know the answers and they might not be palatable but now is the opportunity to clear the decks.
• Work : do really miss it, other than the paycheck? Is there something that you always wanted to do that you now have the time to tackle? Are you a music genius, a writer perhaps, an artist? No matter what now is the time to express yourself.
• Health: can you take the time now to review your health, stop smoking perhaps, cut down on alcohol, try a vegetarian diet, exercise more – become a yoga master twisting your limbs into pretzel shapes in no time! (remember to check with your physician before radically changing your diet and exercise regime)
• Wealth: How much is enough? How can you get by with what you have, review where your money has been going, can this now be trimmed and even can you do without things that never have been essential anyway.
• Relationships: This is a real challenge as in times like these, our relationships are under pressure but we need to know if we can get through this then we can get through anything. However it might be time to review those who have not been helpful and have been more of a drain on your energies and take the opportunity to say “sayonara”.
3. Comparison trap.
Stop comparing yourself to others, there will always be someone who is more attractive, wealthier, has a bigger car, has a bigger house, has something you don’t have. But do you really need what they have? Is it that important? Is it okay to just have what you have, now is a great opportunity to review this.
4. Future planning.
This situation will not last forever. It will end. Take this chance to see how you are going to live your life in the future. Do you want to go back to the way it was, but this is unlikely as social distancing and various health protocols might be around for some time to come. So now is the chance to plan a different life, taking everything above into consideration, now you can really plan for a life that is less stressful, less chaotic and just better as you have taken the time to plan your life.
Remember you only get one life, but rarely do you get the chance to review and reset it to the way it should have been in the first place. Now might be that opportunity. Seize the opportunity as this is something you can still control.
Another great article from BBC future. You might not live forever but you might just be a nicer, happier person before you go. #bbcfuture #behappy #positiveaging #anxietyclinicdublin
I come from a social psychology background and find how we act within and outside groups fascinating. This article highlights the challenges we as individuals face when presented with a crisis. We are currently knee deep, waist deep or up to our necks in it , depending where you live within our global village, in a pandemic that is asking us to confront our thoughts and behaviours.
So please read the article, give it a like , share it freely and ask yourself if you are going to rebel or conform?
This is my right hand (Righty) , it’s not quite redundant, but it’s very clean. Very Very clean, so is it’s partner Lefty. Righty likes to be busy, but doesn’t work as hard as Lefty, who is the dominant one.
At the moment both are not as busy as they should be, Righty can live with this , but Lefty can’t, so he took this photo of Righty, to keep himself busy, he is typing these words also.
Our hands are important, however when they have too much time they can get mischievous, “Devil and idle hands and all that”, never a good combination.
So to occupy Lefty and Righty, they have been set tasks:
chopping, stirring, flipping and cutting in the kitchen, Righty’s fingers have a few nicks, naughty Lefty.
filling the washing machine, hanging out clothes, ironing clothes
stretching, pulling and lifting to help the middle aged body move
massage the aching body
hold and flick the pages of a new book
holding a biscuit and dunking in a nice cup of tea
Who knows they might even teach each other a few tricks so Righty can take more of the leading role and Lefty can take a more supporting role.
Both are looking to the future when the invaders have gone so they can get back to doing the work they love, being helping hands to those in need.
One thing is for sure they will not be redundant and will be very very clean.
”You’re far too close, stand back from each other, six feet people , two metres. I’m being serious, this is serious, very serious.”
It’s the reception area in a part of a Dublin hospital, small groups of health care staff are busy doing their jobs as they would every day, but the words stop people in their tracks. The words hit home, the mood changes, anxiety rises, just in case we weren’t aware- social distancing is a new reality.
The consultant doctor, whose words are above, is a respected, calm, erudite senior member of this team. He doesn’t scare easily, this is not his first rodeo, so just in case anyone was in any doubt, the corona virus Covid-19 , is not to be discarded as a bad cold or flu, his team is down 50% and the surge hasn’t arrived in Ireland yet. If they are anxious about social distancing then we all should be mindful of social distancing.
The words resonate with my experience , I travel to the hospital by public transport, the bus is usually packed, standing room only. But not at the moment, 100,000’s have been laid off work or working from home, caring for children who’s schools or crèches are closed. The bus is sparsely filled people observing seat distancing, trying not to get too close. It’s eerily quiet, the usual multilingual chattering has gone, transferred to internet chat rooms.
But not everyone has switched onto the need for social distancing, a young man sat behind me on the bus the other morning, more concerned with his mobile phone than being aware of the seat distancing all us other commuters were observing, not through any conscious pact on our parts or bus company policy , moreover just through common sensibilities about the current situation we all find ourselves in.
I chose to get up and get off the bus, I had a few choice words with the youngster, he didn’t care, I cannot be responsible for other people’s thoughts and actions, only my own.
Walking around the city brings it’s own anxiety, I see too many people grouped together, sitting far too close (6 feet guys, 2 metres please), walking two or three abreast. This raises my own anxieties, I have to cross over roads to avoid groups, stopping in doorways, turning my back to allow others to pass by. As an anxiety management therapist I know the damaging effects of constant anxiety- https://anxietyclinicdublin.com/anxiety-test-results/
I’m fortunate enough to be able to regulate my own anxieties, but just like the corona virus Covid-19 , I don’t have immunity from them, but I have solutions such as conscious breathing and mindfulness. Likewise we have solutions to contain the corona virus Covid-1, hand and general hygiene, avoid unnecessary contact and SOCIAL DISTANCING.
I’m now doing more work over the internet via Zoom and VSee, it’s not quite like the real one to one or group settings I prefer but it’s our current reality. A reality that might change the way we think about how we work and live and what type of societies we want both locally and globally. But that’s for another post.
So let’s be conscious of our actions and the impact they have on others, we can all ease our anxiety by slowing down and listen to sensible advice. I know I have: “…I’m being serious, this is serious, very serious.”
In these curious times happiness can mean so many different things to different people and words cannot truly describe what it is, for it is a feeling, a unique feeling within us that hopefully we have all experienced, even for the briefest of moments.
So even when happiness seems short on supply, grasp and savour the depth of its existence when it comes your way.
For it is yours to experience any way you like.
So when it comes your way , let it in, or if it’s not for you, please share it with someone who might just need it.
In these unprecedented times (sounds dramatic but they are) we all need to be mindful of where our heads are at.
This is a nice graphic, I like it as it’s simple.
Obviously managing anxiety on top of the current corona virus pandemic is challenging. But taking care of our mental health has never been so important.
So hopefully this graphic can help focus our minds.
Please seek the necessary anxiety management for your needs if you require it as, like me,I’m sure most anxiety management specialists can facilitate video interfaces.
I personally use VSee and Zoom so take care of yourself and if you require any further information you can find it at: http://www.anxietyclinicdublin.com
You can also feel free to contact me at: anxietyclinc@dublin.com
22 per cent of adolescents surveyed reported severe anxiety. File photograph: Getty Images/iStockphoto
Rates of anxiety and depression are on the rise among young people, according to the largest ever study of mental health among Irish teenagers and young adults.
The research, which captures the views of more than 19,000 young people aged between 12 and 25 years, also finds that teenagers who spend three hours or more online daily are more likely to be miss out on sleep and have higher rates of anxiety and depression.
The study was carried out by the UCD school of psychology and funded by Jigsaw, the national youth mental health service, and follows up on a similar study carried out in 2012.
It finds that since the last study the proportion of adolescents (12-18s ) reporting severe anxiety has doubled to 22 per cent, while levels of severe anxiety in young adults (18-25s ) have increased from 15 per cent to 26 per cent.
Levels of self-harm are significant across the adolescent and young adult age groups, with two in every five young adults having self-harmed.
On a positive note, numbers of young people drinking alcohol, being bullied in school and stressing about finances have dropped.
The study found there has been a drop in levels of self-esteem, optimism and life satisfaction, but the number of those getting help from supportive adults in their lives has increased.
While the amount of time spent online is a concern for some young people, the research also notes that young people are predominantly using social media to enhance and continue friendships and relationships that they have made offline.
You may have heard this story before but indulge me as it’s important and relevant to all our lives. I have a copy of this on my office wall. Only through our own actions will we change our lives:
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.
What’s the most common route to dealing with your anxiety?
GP?
Medication?
Counselling?
CBT?
Sometimes these interventions work which is great as you will not need to wait to see me however more often and not these don’t work. I know this as this is the route many people take before contacting me.
But that’s okay as you are now taking action and just because these interventions didn’t work this has nothing to do with my therapy.
Ask yourself this this question. How is my anxiety going to go away?
Seriously ask yourself, do you expect the things that didn’t work before to somehow work now?
Really focus on this as you now have a choice:
A: Continue doing what you are doing and hope for the best
OR
B: Contact me
We all need a plan B so if you have anxiety
contact me and I’ll show you how to retrain your mind so that can take control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
However only contact me if you really want to smash your anxiety and live the life you deserve.
One of the most common signs of anxiety is self consciousness. It’s not unusual for people to think that others are talking about them or feel negatively towards them.This “what will people think” mindset causes much anxiety.
Am I self conscious?
This can Result in paranoia and is almost certainly only “in the mind” of the person who experiences it. The idea that they are in the forefront of someone else’s mind is simply not true. In the same way we are in our own little bubble thinking about ourselves, they are doing the same. We are not in other people’s thinking as much as we like to think.
When you are anxious you look for clues to validate your belief that people are secretly talking about you behind your back or thinking bad about you. You become a “mind reader” where you actually think you know what other people are thinking about you. In reality people aren’t walking around thinking about you.
Tips on how to stop feeling self conscious
It’s funny when you mind read though, you never think that they think anything nice about you! It’s always negative. Yet if you really could read minds you would be rich, you’d be on TV you’d be a celebrity. Are you any of these things? No. So you can’t read minds so it’s just paranoid thinking then.
So whenever you try to “read people’s minds” there’s usually only 1 outcome. You will think something negative. It’s rare you will ever think “they think I’m great”. Let’s face it not everyone will like us in life. Do you like everyone you meet? No. If people like us that’s great if they don’t well that’s their loss.This is key to how to stop feeling self conscious.
Please absorb this!
You weren’t put here to please people, if they don’t like your personality it’s fine. You don’t like everyone’s personality either. It works both ways. Some people will like you some won’t. It’s the way it’s always been. So when you accept this it creates peace. It gives you closure. You stop bending your personality to try to please people. They aren’t bending to please you. All you do is lose yourself when you try to please everyone.
It’s time to take back control of your thoughts and feelings.
If you need one to one help to combat the above you can call me on:
Anxiety Clinic Dublin 