30 days and 30 ways to make life a little bit more positive.
Try out the daily tasks see which ones work best for you. Keep going until the end of June. If you miss one or two, that’s okay, the tasks are small enough and doable enough to double up on any given day.
I love Spring I love cherry blossom trees Seeing the changes and growth in nature reminds me that we too can harness this change and growth. Immerse yourself in nature you’ll feel better for it.
Good to see hypnotherapy suggested as a positive way of managing your anxiety (number 7).
Taking action is imperative when dealing with anxiety, seeking out help from a well trained hypnotherapist such as all the members of the CHPA (chpa.ie) can make all the difference.
Don’t leave it to chance, if you or someone you know, is need of help in dealing with anxiety then contact the CHPA, where a hypnotherapy professional will be happy to help.
Although we are nearing the end of the year and we reflect on the past and look forward to the future; how many of us take the time to be in the present?
We can only be physically in the present so let’s bring our minds there too.
As the current Chairperson of the CHPA I would like to thank Aidan and The Irish Examiner for this excellent article highlighting the positive impact hypnotherapy has had on providing support for people suffering during the pandemic. The CHPA is leading the way in providing professional hypnotherapy services, with all members fully qualified, insured and Garda (Police) vetted.
An interesting portmanteau for hangover and anxiety. Growing up I would known this as “the fear”. An interesting article which for me highlights the need to go with your anxiety, listen to what it is telling you, there is much truth in the old Latin saying,”In vino veritas”. We can learn lessons from anything and anyone and this might be another way to really focus in what your mind and body are telling you. However remember to enjoy yourself as time does march on , as always it’s a question of balance and if you do find yourself in that Sunday morning state of “hang-xiety” , take your “go to” cure (mine was Irn Bru, for those unfamiliar with this drink you are missing a trick) and sit down and listen to yourself as school is in for an unfiltered session on what’s going on in your life.
Picture the scene, your in bed, anxiously just lying there,the seconds on the clock becoming minutes which soon become hours. No sleep just thoughts bouncing around your head. This is so common when we are anxious.Worry, stress, rerun conversations going round and round and feeling totally bushwhacked when it’s time to get up.
We never seem to be able to relax, always walking zombie like through life always making mistakes and that no matter how hard we try we always seem to be in trouble or doing things wrong.
Despite our best of intentions of trying to keep helping other people, or to make a positive difference, it all seems to keep going wrong.
Sometimes when we are anxious, we end up trying too hard, or not seeing the problems in what we’re doing, because we’re rushing around not able to focus on what we are doing we end up making a mess of things.
I can think of so many people who just couldn’t stop and kept making things worse even though they had the best of intentions.
When the anxiety systems of the brain are active, we’ll often get that knot in the stomach, or a tight chest, and those physical feelings make everything feel urgent and really strong. We act instinctively trying to do the right thing but time after time it seems like we just keep getting it wrong.
The more you try the worse it seems to get , your anxiety feeding self doubts and feelings of failure. You beat yourself up over the smallest things , you feel alone as if it’s only you going through this constant cycle of anxious failure.
It doesn’t all have to be like this. Little changes can make a big difference. Cutting stress with simple activities like mindfulness, exercise, focused breathing etc can all dial down the strength of that worry reaction.
However, if there’s been a lifelong tendency of anxiety or to always be worrying, or having constant mental reruns , then there’s probably a lot of opportunity to make life better by dealing with those issues. That’s what has completely turned the lives around for many people I have seen.
My honest advice is be true to yourself and make a list of what and how often you are worrying or stressing and see how big an issue it is in life. You can choose to ignore it but if that’s what you have been doing up until now ask yourself how that’s been working out for you.
There are a lot of proven ways to reduce anxiety, worry, fears and phobias – I use a variety of strategies tailored to personal needs.
Recognizing that there’s room for improvement in life is very often the first step that takes us to doing what we need to do to make our life better in the future.
You have lost enough sleep to anxiety now is the time to get the help you need.
On an island with the Atlantic to the West and the Irish Sea to the east September brings in many changes. Not only the weather as who can tell the variables of such a potent force? But more than this for us as people. Our lives change back to the normal, back to the routine- school, work, commuting, and so on.
Another year has passed, some people have gone, some have arrived , that unstoppable circle of life that the seasons only provide a marker to what time it is. The Sun’s casting shadow getting longer, if indeed you’re lucky enough to see it (remember it always shines above the clouds) as we tread further into our daily life.
Like I said at the beginning I like September as it provides us with an opportunity to reflect on the summer gone, even the year that has passed but more importantly take notice of what’s going on now. A moment to plan for the winter ahead on how we are going to protect ourselves, physically from the elements and mentally from the stresses and anxieties of daily life.
So as the sun sets on summer what are you going to do to protect yourself perhaps some of these tips will help:
Keep connecting with your family and friends
Get active, move more
Make time for yourself doing something that you want to do
Smile and be grateful for what and who you are
Take two minutes to be mindful (I can send you on my two minute sessions for you to try)
Whatever it is you choose remember the sun is going to set anyway, your not alone, the seasons will come and go , we all go through it, but we can go through it together.
How often have you felt little, unexplained feelings of happiness popping up from time to time.
I like those little, unexplained feelings . It’s like getting a free hit of feeling happy without having to do anything to get it.
Do you get them too? Mine don’t last too long but that’s ok for l don’t expect them to, but I do like to notice and enjoy them when they arrive.
When we stop to think about it, are we too busy trying to figure things out, getting caught up in the noise that we diminish these happy moments as a distraction and getting in the way of how we really feel?
It’s strange how we try to force feelings as opposed to accepting them for what they are. Sometimes I just feel happier not because my life got better or sometimes I don’t feel so happy but again not because my life got worse. It’s just where I am at that moment and I realise like all feelings they will pass.
For me the important factor is to be mindfully aware of the good feelings when they come along. Where in my body do the feelings manifest, is it just a simple need to smile, no matter what or where, I can allow the feelings just be what they are.
And be wary of denying the good feelings as you think you should be worrying about something, Just let the moment in and go when it does.
We can spend a lifetime chasing happiness yet miss those little moments of unexpected happiness which just pop up now and again. Watch out for them and when they come, accept them and let them go when they do.
We all deserve a little happiness no matter how fleeting.
It’s a simple enough question, you would think. However are you feeling anxious just thinking about how to answer?
We all assume that working hard is a good thing and many studies suggest that having a good work ethic enhances your motivation, discipline and encourages continuous skill set improvements.
That may be true however at what cost?
I encounter many hard working people at my anxiety clinic who despite putting in all the effort still feel anxious, stressed and a feeling of being overwhelmed.
So what can be done to reduce these anxious feelings?
Well let’s start by saying working hard is a good thing but in the right way at the right time. So continue to work hard but just enhance it by adding the following suggestions:
1. Grade Tasks in level of importance : Focus your time and energy on what matters the most first and prioritise others accordingly.
2. Be goal specific : Nothing new in this however don’t get hung up if they don’t work out. It’s the journey not the destination that matters.
3. Utilise technology : Embrace the 21st Century’s technology. Such as: productivity apps, automated repetitive tasks and online resources
4. Time Outs : Essential to recharge your batteries. Be guilt free and embrace your breaks. You will feel better for it.
5. See the learning : There are no mistakes, only feedback, acknowledge it and use it to improve.
By letting go of the feeling of having to do everything will give you the ability to get the right thing done at the right time. Do it, you might just surprise yourself.
But for now let me help you with the SMART goal setting process.
SMART stands for – Specific / Measurable / Achievable /Relevant/ Time related.
For example you may set long-term outcome goals such as getting a ‘dream body’ or to be happier and, as a starting point, these sound like good goals.
The problem is that the goal-setting process for many people stops there.
People who develop action plans experience LESS ANXIETY, MORE CONFIDENCE and GREATER SATISFACTION about achieving their goals and are more likely to SUCCEED.
Let’s take weight loss as an example. Saying I want to lose weight is a noble statement however by saying,” I want to lose 20lbs or 10 kg is more SPECIFIC.
Then by adding, “…before my summer holidays” gives a chance to MEASURE the weight drop in stages.
Next you have to ask yourself, “is it ACHIEVABLE”. How are you going to achieve this goal- coaching, diet, exercise, hypnosis?
You need a balance of- challenging enough to keep you motivated, but not too hard as you might lose focus and experience feelings of anxiety and stress.
(I use a specific analysis technique for weight management which I can gladly go through with you).
The RELEVANT stage is very important as this is where you need to ask yourself, “Does this goal really matter to me?” The answer better be “YES”, but if there is no real internal motivation and desire to achieve it, you’ll probably fail.
Finally setting a TIMELINE for when you want to achieve your goal is important.
This is the part where you need to make use of setting goals that are both long and short term; our main goal may be 6-8 months away but by setting short term goals you will always have an upcoming goal to work towards.
Hopefully this has been helpful to you about both the importance of wanting to achieve your goal and how to go about it. Sure I am always available to help you start, maintain and achieve the goals you deserve.
With the easing of restrictions and suggestions that we are closing in on the final chapters of the pandemic, there are numerous reasons to feel optimistic that we may soon return to a ‘normal life ’.
Just imagine no face masks, no Covid tests and no more social distancing, sounds good , right?
Taking off a Face mask
However it’s understandable to feel nervous and anxious about this new transitional stage and the changes associated with it. Trust me you are not alone if you feel this way.
Our minds and bodies have been on “Red Alert” for a long time now about protecting our health and any sudden changes to our behaviour may cause fear and confusion and an increased risk of social anxiety.
We may feel that we are under scrutiny and overthink our interactions with others around us leading to even more anxious feelings.
Here are my 5 top tips for coping with the easing of restrictions:
1.Drop feeling guilty
It’s okay to feel anxious and by acknowledging and accepting this it will free up your feelings instead of bottling them up. Changes are going to happen and you don’t have to be ecstatic about it. Chat to friends and colleagues you may be surprised to find you are not alone feeling the way you do.
2. Pace yourself
It’s going to be strange for all of us for a while as we meditate our way from where we were to where we are going. Others might be happy to jump right back into work, pubs and clubs whereas others might not be too keen.
What is important is that you increase exposure at your own pace and find what is comfortable for you, such as , continuing to wear a mask for a while. Furthermore be honest and open about how you feel in a non judgmental way. It’s not about being right or wrong, it’s just the way you feel.
3.Dealing with peer pressure
It can be difficult to hold your position when others around you are doing something different and you are getting pressurised into conforming. However a good way to deal with this is to explain how you feel and that you appreciate the way they feel and all you are asking for is reciprocation. Just be like one of the dragons on “Dragons Den”, when they don’t like the deal on offer they say, “I’m Out”.
4.Be present focused
Our bodies are always present however our minds can be in the past, present or future.
Using mindfulness techniques such as, 54321, can really focus our minds on the here and now. This can be easier said than done so practice is key , the more you practice being present the easier it will become.
54321 mindfulness
5. Recognise your achievements
The last two years have brought on many changes, requiring adaptive behaviour at every turn. Just take time out to reflect on how you have managed this by being flexible in your work, family and social life. Nothing worthwhile is easy and by recognising you have come this far, all you need to do is trust yourself to keep going and be open about getting professional help to see you through to the finish line.
Dickens was of course a great story teller and he drew from his life experiences, everything that went on around him. But he was also a social reformer, challenging the authorities to review and change the circumstances of the poor and working classes.
He lived in a time of great industrial and social upheaval, the heady days of Victorian Britain, a place of both wealth and poverty
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”
Therefore he not only put his thoughts down in words, he also took action with a sense of purpose. We can all do this, don’t doubt yourself, you like me can help another person.
So don’t wait for the best of times to get started , lighten the burden today.
Dickens was of course a great story teller and he drew from his life experiences, everything that went on around him. But he was also a social reformer, challenging the authorities to review and change the circumstances of the poor and working classes.
He lived in a time of great industrial and social upheaval, the heady days of Victorian Britain, a place of both wealth and poverty
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”
Therefore he not only put his thoughts down in words, he also took action with a sense of purpose. We can all do this, don’t doubt yourself, you like me can help another person.
So don’t wait for the best of times to get started , lighten the burden today.